Mail-Order Brides

The concept of mail-order brides was first seen on the American frontier during the mid-1800s. The huge emigration of men to the Western U.S. resulted in a disproportionate ratio of men to women in such places as Washington, Arizona and especially California during the Gold Rush. While most men found financial success out west, they missed the company of a wife.

Back East, for women who were not of the privileged classes, finding a husband could be difficult particularly after the Civil War when thousands of young men died in battle and thousands more moved west. To make ends meet, many went into domestic service or nursing at an early age and were unable to take part in the courtship rituals allowed middle and upper class. Ingenuity and perseverance were needed to find a worthy mate if the most desirable qualifications – money and social standing – were not in abundance.

San Francisco-based Matrimonial News was the first newspaper for singles. It began publication in post-Gold Rush San Francisco in 1870 and promoted honorable matrimonial engagements and true conjugal facilities for men and women. Men paid $0.25 to place an ad (about $4.50 in today's dollars). Women posted for free. It eventually boasted 300 ads a week, with most advertisers claiming good looks and circumstances. 

In spite of the occasional mismatch or short-lived union, historians believe that mail-order brides produced a high percentage of permanent marriages. The reason cited is that the advertisements were candid and direct in their explanations of exactly what was wanted and expected from a prospective spouse. If requested, the parties sent accurate photos of themselves along with a page of background information. Often, when the pair met, the groom-to-be signed an agreement, witnessed by three upstanding members of the territory, not to abuse or mistreat the bride-to-be. The prospective bride then signed a paper (also witnessed) not to nag or try to change the intended!

With the turn of the 20th century, matrimonial papers remained popular, but many mainstream newspapers stopped running personal ads. The New York Times dropped them as early as the 1870s, with other papers, like the Manitoba Free Press and Atlanta Constitution, following suit in the 1920s. A touch of scandal tended to color this sort of advertising, and newspapers preferred to report on it, not cause it.

The Busy Bee Club was formed by six Tucson, AZ wives who were distressed by shootouts over eligible Black females. They formed the “Busy Bee Club” in 1885 to arrange mail-order brides for young Black miners by contacting Black churches and newspapers in the east. Men with "seniority" got first dibs.

Good Reads

“Hearts West: True Stories of Mail-Order Brides on the Frontier” 

“I Do! Courtship, love, and marriage on the American Frontier”

“Black Women of the Old West”.